Turnabout Time Lord
by aceredshirt13
Summary: Miles Edgeworth thinks he finally has an off day...until the TARDIS lands in his office. On top of his building frustration with this odd man in a big blue box, he discovers a body, with a man covered in blood at the bottom of the stairs, swearing he didn't do it. A man named Jack Harkness. General madness ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**Turnabout Time Lord**

Chapter One

Miles Edgeworth turned on his computer, glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and stretched out on the couch. He could finally relax, drink his tea, and watch Steel Samurai like a normal person. After all, it wasn't as if anyone could get into his house and interrupt his beautiful solitude. Yes, he was certainly here alone -

A bizarre shrieking noise like a razor blade on a wire erupted around him. Too deeply engrossed in his show, he paid no attention, shoving his head under his blanket and watching in the blanket's darkness. Surely no one could interrupt him now –

"Hello!"

Miles jumped with a rather undignified squeal, changing his laptop screen from the Steel Samurai to a clip from the Voice, and, with a panicked press of a button, switched Beethoven to an emergency Nicki Minaj album. No one could doubt his manhood now. As he stood up, he failed to notice that a large, blue, British police call box had appeared without warning in his room. The door had opened, and a large-eyed man with sideburns and a mischievous smile was currently standing over him. He was wearing a blue suit that was remarkably similar to a certain defense lawyer that Miles happened to know. The tall, blue-suited man leaned close to Miles and examined him as if he were an extremely interesting science experiment.

"Now, who might you be…?" said the man with sideburns. Miles opened his mouth to answer the question when…

"Oh, I know who you are!" said the unusual blue-suited man. "You're Edgeworth. Miles Edgeworth. Kind of an odd name, that. Where have I heard it before? Edgeworth, Edgeworth, Edgeworth…" The man paced back and forth, deep in thought. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and spun to face the irritated prosecutor.

"Oh, _that _Edgeworth! Prosecutor Edgeworth! This makes more sense now!" He extended his hand with a grin. "Huge fan!"

"Huge… fan…?" (I have _fans_?) "Who are you, and what in the _world_ are you doing in my office?!"

Ignoring the question, the increasingly strange man began counting off on his fingers.

"Won State vs. Engarde – that miracle certainly happen –, took down the smuggling ring, and then there was that tricky bit with DL-6 – ooh, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that."

Miles gave the man his signature glare. "Kindly answer the question."

"I'm the Doctor. Not _a_ doctor, _the_ Doctor. Well, I was _a_ doctor. Well, not for very long. Well, okay, only for a little bit."

(The Doctor? Doctor _Who_?)

"This still doesn't explain why you're _in my office_!"

The Doctor's eyes widened suddenly, but just as quickly reverted back to their old selves.

"By the way," said The Doctor, "why on Earth is Nicki Minaj music playing in your office?"

Miles tapped his finger in frustration. "Don't change the subject on me, Mr.… Doctor. Why are you here, and how did you get here?"

The Doctor glanced at the ceiling. "Oh, just sightseeing. You know, hopping from here to there…"

This is when Miles Edgeworth caught sight of the blue police box, happily sitting there behind the couch.

"Where exactly did that come from?" said Miles, folding his arms.

"Oh, nowhere in particular. We just showed up and bam! There it was!"

Miles performed the gesture that is known in many cultures as a "facepalm", the act of lightly smacking your face in exasperation.

"Mr. Doctor, I'm a prosecutor. I've been trained to see through lies. Even a beginner could tell that you're awful at lying."

The Doctor whipped a small wallet out of his pocket, a resigned look on his face.

"Attorney General, at your service. Well, technically you're at _my _service."

Miles was convinced that something was odd about the paper that The Doctor flashed, but quickly pushed away his doubts.

"You don't really look like the attorney general. Also, I thought the attorney general was supposed to be American…"

"Oh, don't listen to those silly _facts_!"

Suddenly, there was a loud scream, a nasty gooshing sound, and a series of thumps from outside the office. Miles threw open the door, dashing past The Doctor, whose expression was one more of dismay than surprise. The staircase was covered with a long trail of blood, and there was a final thump, followed by splashing sounds like someone running through a puddle. There was a sound like a door opening, followed by the sound of it slamming shut. Miles Edgeworth stared at the bloody stairs, dumbfounded. This was a rare expression.

"Wh-Whaaaat?!" was his only response.

"Looks like we were too late for Bladi Merder," said The Doctor with a tragic look in his eyes. He could already see what they would find at the bottom of the stairs: Captain Jack, covered in blood, with an expression one part horrified and one part sheepish.

"Sorry, Jack."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Of all the things Miles had expected to see when he reached the bottom of the stairs, it certainly hadn't been this tall, grinning man. Under normal circumstances, his clothes would have been nice – a black button-up jacket with an undershirt – if it weren't for the enormous bloodstain across his chest. Casually, Jack wiped his hand on his jacket and held it out to Miles.

"Hi. My name's Captain Jack Harkness."

Warily, Miles shook it. "Miles Edgeworth, attorney at law."

As he shook his hand, Jack gave him an... almost _seductive_ wink? Miles cast the thought out of his mind. Of course it wasn't seductive – it was merely a wink between manly men.

Closer to Jack now, he noticed that a good portion of his hair was spiked with dried blood. Following the trail of blood with his eyes, he found that the blood was spewing out of an enormous, potentially life-threatening gash in the man's head.

"Er, Mr. Harkness, may I ask how you're conscious and speaking to me right now?"

Jack grinned. "What do you mean?"

Miles was about to indicate the gash… and realized that it had completely disappeared. He also noticed that Captain Jack still had a tight grip on his hand.

"E-Excuse me, sir, but would you _kindly_ let go of my hand –"

"Stop it, Jack!"

The Doctor appeared from behind Miles, looking irritated. Jack reluctantly dropped Miles's hand and turned to stare at The Doctor.

"Might I ask what you're doing here, Doctor?"

"Oh, you know, traveling…" said The Doctor absently, not meeting Jack's eyes.

"I mean, maybe it's just me, but it's awfully convenient that you happened to show up just in time for a murder to happen."

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, when it comes to murders, this universe is in the ninety-eighth percentile."

Miles gave The Doctor a questioning look. "Exactly what do you mean by _this _universe –"

He was quickly cut off by The Doctor. "How about _you_, Jack? Why exactly are you in this…prosecutor's building…thing…?

Jack sighed. "It's a long story." He paused, then glanced around. "But you're not going anywhere, and" – Jack gestured to the cadaver – "he's certainly not going anywhere, so we're good!" Jack leaned an elbow against a nearby wall, taking care not to stick his elbow in the still-wet blood splatter. "A few days ago, I got a little drunk –"

"I'm guessing it was more than a little," The Doctor interjected.

"…Okay, really drunk. So, I met this pretty girl at a bar, and we talked, and we drank, and drank, and drank…"

"We get it, Jack. You drank," grumbled The Doctor impatiently.

"You're a real killjoy, Doctor. Well, anyway, she came back to my place, and everything after that was kind of a blur. Next thing I knew, she'd turned into a giant monster and proclaimed she'd kill everyone in the multiverse. So, Torchwood says I've gotta chase her down. It's a pain, really."

Privately, Miles wondered exactly how drunk this man had been.

"You do realize, Mr. Harkness, that a bloodstained man casually standing next to a corpse while spouting nonsense about the multiverse does look a _tad_ suspicious."

Jack took a deep breath, and turned to Miles. "Are you a prosecutor?"

"Yes… Why do you ask?"

"Okay, Miles, I know this looks bad –"

"Mr. Edgeworth will do, thank you."

Jack ignored him. "But no matter how stupid my explanations sound to you, I can swear to you that I didn't do it."

An old part of Miles, a part he'd rather forget, was yelling, "You're a prosecutor! Prosecuting's what you _do_! He'll be an easy case – what authorities are going to believe he was chasing some monster through dimensions? Criminals are bad, Miles!"

But the other part of him, the part that he'd learned to embrace, said simply, "If he's innocent, you'll know."

Miles took a step towards Jack, looked him square in the face and said, "Mr. Harkness, did you kill this man?"

Jack stared back, his gaze firm and unwavering. "Whoever this guy is, I swear on my life, I didn't kill him."

Words came into his head, words he vaguely remembered saying long ago. It was a lesson he'd taught Phoenix without even knowing it, and a lesson that Phoenix, in turn, had taught him.

"A lawyer is someone who stands up for those with no one on their side."

Miles exhaled. "I… I believe you."

For a split second, The Doctor met Miles's eyes. He thought he could see a spark of… admiration? No, that couldn't be it. He cleared his throat and continued.

"I'm no defense attorney, but I'll do everything in my power to uncover the truth behind… whatever this is."

The Doctor grinned. "Fantastic! Now we can get investigating." He pulled out a device resembling a screwdriver and dashed off. Miles could hear strange buzzing noises from where he'd gone.

"By the way, Mr. Harkness, just to be certain, what _is_ your alibi?"

The Doctor's head popped out from behind a wall. "Jack is a very… _special_ fellow."

Jack shrugged. "Yeah. I'm immortal. Really, it's not as great as it sounds. Kind of boring, actually."

Miles blinked, then blinked again.

"Ex-Excuse me?"

"To make a long story short, after I was killed fighting aliens, an old friend of mine absorbed the heart of the blue box that appeared in your office and brought me back to life – permanently. So, if I get killed, I wake up alive again."

A yell sounded from the hallway. "Come _on_, Miles! We've got murdering to investigate!"

Miles hid his face in his hands.

"Bloody hell, what have I gotten myself into?!"


End file.
